Sorting Out The Pieces

Aftermath: The consequences or aftereffects of an event. Esp when unpleasant.

N shows up Tuesday as if nothing had happened. Gone the day after. Gone Monday. I say we must wait until we talk with the PO. He insists that it is cool. Everything is cool. What's the big deal? I bring up his Myspace site. He is stunned. His facade is cool. A big misunderstanding. He will delete his Myspace. He is here. He just wants to go to school. It wasn't his fault. Wrong place. Wrong time. For an instant he forces himself to cry. But he can't sustain it. I had fallen for it once before. It was a calculated act. On cue.

I know it is not his fault. He did not calculate his life. I know well and good that he is a victim of his own circumstance. His fucked up family. His mother. His adolescent brain. Still there are consequences and reprecussions. Go home till we sort this thing out.

At noon the PO arrives. There is a warrant for N. He has not been home since that day. They know he is at home now. They go to get him. For the greater good he cannot come back. I wonder what will happen.

I am sick all week. A bad cold. I am losing my voice. It hurts to talk. I have to talk.

M returned this week after a court hearing which put him on ISP. Now he has a team of 3 POs. Any wrong move gives him 24 hours in lock-up. He is not happy. There will also be family therapy in the home. Keeping him at the Road will be hard. Earlier in the week I had a dream that 3 of his younger brothers were here to sign up for school. I was told I had to take them. I walked into the room and there they were around a table. The same green eyes as his. Glowing from their hood covered heads. They smiled. They had very sharp teeth.

She has a running theme lately. Men being men. Men showing boys how to be men. Boys with emeshed mommies. Let the men step in. Solve it like men. Months ago in the NYTs I read about teenage boy elephants run amuck on binges of pure malice and destruction. Their daddies were gone or dead. No men. Only boys. Lost without men. Emeshed to their mommies.N,E,B,M. They are all teenage boy elephants.

She is part of the case management now. She oversees the hard work. The therapy part. Cuts through the dance. While she herself is figuring out the dance. She is amazed at the complexities of the development of teenage brains. She reminds us of this. Draws our attentions to this. She pulls no punches. She sorts out the pieces.